Larry was thirteen
When he made his first deal
Breakout success at twenty
A corporate steal
A millionaire with no where to go but in
No boundries or constraints
He could'a given a lecture on sin
Shelly liked to call him Lawrence
In front of his friends
And lover boy
In the back seat of the car
They played poker with love
And made sex to guitar
The running joke being
Insertion of a big cigar
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Looking out for Number One
Go on son: take the money and run
They were married
At the Houston Evangelical Church
Or the Crystal Casino perhaps,
Whichever it was
The preacher took a blowjob
And the maitre'de got a buzz
She pushed hard for a pre-nup
But eventually gave in
Knowing the outcome
The trophy wife trash bin
A pregnancy changed all that
Accidental they said
But she was always good on the pill
Would rather be dead
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Looking out for Number One
Go on son: take the money and run
The child was Larry Junior
A chip off the old block
And later detested the old man
And his mushroom headed cock
He took a liking to European men
And their muscle-bound forms
They lost track of him
somewhere out in the corn
And there was a daughter
Who they studiously ignored
Accused of being intelligent
And to have later whored
With a black albino pimp
In a movie starring De Niro
Someone later called her
Epstein's Bambino
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Looking out for Number One
Go on son: take the money and run
I met them years later, past their prime
At an Indian casino
Out beyond the state line
He was smoking dollar bills
And she was talking up Reno
Let's go skiiing
We've got a place out near Tahoe
Larry practiced an air of self-sufficiency
But his hair had grown thin and fine
He walked like a man with polio
And a stick up his spine
He would use words like dictat and abrogado
But he couldn't tell a nickle bag
From a stoney dime
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Looking out for Number One
Go on son: take the money and run
Shelly had meanwhile gone
The way of the plastic surgeon
Chances of success were slim
But the knife needed no urging
She changed her nose
And the shape of her chin
Her boobs were battered
The scars buried deep under the skin
She thought of herself
As the brains of the operation
Which was true, she only let him come
When his balls were blue
Word on the street was
They'd milked the company dry
Even Cramer had it in for the Magician
And his Wife Flying High
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Turn away, turn away, turn away
From the Western World
Looking out for Number One
Go on son: take the money and run
The days of future past were long done
No one of this world could have overcome
The market collapsed
And the Trumper Whitehouse with it
Treasury said let it roll
And then skip it
The hall of fame closed down,
Baseball too
The sickness had spread and infected the park
No one was left
It was getting dark
I said a last long goodbye to them
And went on my way
After extracting whatever joy
Was left in that dreary day